Life as I know it.

thursday studio~

i'm proud of myself.... 2 days running and i'm blogggin! but the real reason is that i'm starting to like talking to myself.... or at least talking to blogspot... it's highly therapeutic... and pretend-worlds are great.

studio today wasn't very productive i think... richard ho spoke on certain issues etc.... made me rethink my opinion of him.... at first i thot he was the more commercial type of architect... but now i realise he might just be different.... hopefully that means that he can guide us to injecting some greater meaning/sensitivity in our final sem project.... i have high hopes for the sem... in that i see its relevance and its possibilities... we talked about the sense of place or lackthereof in SG.... my point being that the feeling of placelessness is exacerbated by the knowledge that nothing that we hold dear is permanent. In the bid to cultivate singaporeans that are cosmopolitan and adaptable, we have simply been uprooted and cast adrift... everywhere in the world is the same to us, while it makes us successful on one hand, it's kinda of a depressing future... the conversation tho about such a heavy topic made me quite enthu about the whole thing... cos it's dealing with real issues and not at our own whims and fancies, which makes me feel less of a fraud... lol.

however, the masterplan is simply a headache so far... some are simply not really interested it seems.... like just waiting to see how things fall and then move on to their indiv projects... and i guess this time round i'm quite adamant on my own views, so perhaps i'll just work it through on sunday and see if it makes sense in the end. heritage/tourism/capitalism/cultural sensitivity/sense of place/genius loci/identity/self sustaining/pride in national monuments/paris and the parisien pride/new yorkers and the new york attitude/chicago land of great architecture... hm... there must be something there that i'm missing... what can define siem reap that is not contrived? is it really tourism or something more? opinions will be welcome.... I truly miss the long hours of discussion we had in year 1.... no one seems willing to do that anymore... i suspect those long discussions are what made me love archi in the first place... the discussion of concept/context, m(arch)ud is beckoning..... it might just be my salvation cos god knows my sense of aesthetic is to say the least inadequate in this time of design stylists...

boardgames on saturday my house... how come the people i wanna invite are not interested while some people that i'm not that familiar with just simply wanna come? it's gotta be the free games attraction in the latter case, who gives a damn whose house it is anyway... but at least the exchange bunch are coming.... looking at how much trouble i have to go thru to org this... i'll just bring a game or two to sch next time...

got teased today... not quite used to it since it doesn't happen all that often to me.... i'm like the epitome of low-profile underdog... and besides that kind of teasing just doesn't seem to fit someone like me... kinda too unlovable to make any gossip believable... but perhaps cos there's no new gossip in studio so people must just be thinking to pass the time. I honestly don't quite mind it just laugh it off i guess tho it reminds me of what i do not have in my life or rather never had in my life.

listening to yang zhong wei's new album now... it's so unhealthy.... his voice is so blardy sad that if i dwell in all my unfulfilled wishes further i'll push myself back to that helpless state of last year. that was quite a scary period... i'll never again say that things like that can be controlled. I don't care if that makes me weak or seem like scrambling for excuses cos now that i've climbed out of it once, i know it's as real as it seems at the point in time. the damage is just as serious and the impact of insensitivity just as devastating.

something in my mind points out to me that having an outlet to vent might just help me keep my head, albeit an inanimate object. so just to those who are reading this, i'm not trying out to be some melodrama queen or some pathetic soul... it's just me trying to come to terms with things happening in my life... doesn't mean that i'm a miserable human being all the time... it's just a private avenue for me to reflect.

gg to go read erwin's readings b4 i conk out... may tomorrow be a better day!^^

posted by Wei Lin @ 3:07 AM